Tony Blair COULD BE ON THE VERGE OF BUYING BRITAIN, Happy Claptrap can reveal this very instant.The silver-tongued ex-socialist supremo, who has earned millions since leaving No 10, recently announced he had donated a significant sum to the Labour Party. And experts believe it could be the first step of a banking-style bailout as he plots to privatise the party – AND TAKE OVER THE COUNTRY.
The final months of Tony Blair's premiership saw a police investigation into allegations Labour donors had been offered honours in return for cash. But in a spectacular turnaround, it’s believed they may now BE OFFERED THE COUNTRY as Britain teeters on the borders of bankruptcy.
“Things have deteriorated rapidly since Tony left office,’ one unnamed source close to the cabinet told Happy Claptrap. “Britain is broke, Brown is gambling away our financial futures, and we don’t even get biscuits with our tea in cabinet meetings like we used to,” he complained. “Tony feels only one man can rescue the situation.”
Mr Blair's closest political allies from his time at Number 10, including ex-minister David Blunkett, former Paymaster General Geoffrey Robinson, and demented spin doctor Alistair Cambell, have all donated cash in the same period, FUELLING RUMOURS that Blair is putting together a dream team to take over the country. And if the move goes ahead, it is thought the electorate may lose the right to vote until the donors receive their investment back.
Mr Blair refused to comment on the matter, but did suggest that Alan Shearer could challenge Jackie Milburn as Newcastle United’s greatest-ever player.
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