Osama bin Laden has been SENSATIONALLY sacked as boss of global terror outfit al-Quaeda, Happy Claptrap can reveal today.
And the move comes amid CRISIS TALKS at Manchester City, sparking rumours that the Saudi hit man is being lined up to replace EXPLOSIVE, ex-Manchester United striker Mark Hughes. City have yet to fire on all cylinders despite being the richest club in the world, and Hughes is COMING UNDER FIRE FROM FANS to produce the goods.
"This could be a good move for City," one unnamed source told Happy Claptrap. "Bin Laden has proven experience in working with mixed nationalities, as well as handling big budgets. On top of that, his motivational skills are second to none: under him, the players would die for the shirt.
"Doubters point out that bin Laden has been out of the spotlight for too long, but Joe Kinnear's re-emergence at Newcastle last season appears to have BLOWN THE ARGUMENT APART.
According to the club, wage demands are yet to be discussed, although the City board has expressed a willingness to rename the stadium 'Middle Eastlands' to sweeten the deal. They are also investigating the possibility of holding pre-season training camps in southern Pakistan.
"City supporters are known for their fanaticism," said one excited season ticket holder. "So in that respect, bin Laden would fit in very well."
Bin Laden, who currently lives in a secret cave in Pakistan, is thought to be a keen admirer of ex-City bad boy Joey Barton and would try and make him his first signing.
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