Happy Claptrap has built a proud reputation of never shirking the big news stories. Wars, recession, and Joey Barton have all been reported OBJECTIVELY, ACCURATELY and, above all, HONESTLY.
But what we witnessed this weekend, live from London, has moved this organ to express its MORAL OUTRAGE at a deeply shocking MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE. Move aside Mr. Ross. Back to your cage Georgina Baillie. As the US elections made history, another vote has tainted these once proud shores and brought DISGRACE TO A NATION.
For dignified, demure celebrity dancer Heather Small has had her big heart SHATTERED by the collective weight of a nation of sofa-bound simpletons. To the shock of the jury, these intellectual invalids found their phones amongst the piles of pizza boxes to vote her off the show.
And as sequinned, once-serious political correspondent John Sergeant survives to continue marching – horribly out of time - across the trampled remains of his reputation, Heather and charming dance partner Brian Fortuna have paid the ultimate price: their dancing lives.
With the nation entering a nightmare of collapsing banks, mass redundancies and repossessed television sets, Happy Claptrap has no doubts as to who the finger of blame should point to and poke aggressively in the chest in this age of personality cult.
You.
Heather Small is financially secure thanks to her success as lead singer of rock/pop combo Boney M.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment