Bird flu could affect men AS WELL AS women, Happy Claptrap can reveal in a sensational world exclusive. And EU states have been urged to stockpile twice as many anti-viral drugs following confirmation that the virulent virus is dangerous to BOTH SEXES.
News that the ‘bug with a beak’ could potentially claim TWICE THE NUMBER of victims worldwide has led to predictions warning of up to 250 million fatalities. And all governmental, military, financial and football institutions could be in danger of COMPLETE COLLAPSE.
According to one anonymous source, the result “would not be dissimilar to nuclear war and could possibly mean the end of western civilisation as we know it.”
Bird flu was originally thought to pose a danger only to women, especially those following alternative, so-called healthy lifestyles that include eating nuts, seeds and berries. UK divorces have shot up as birth rates plummet in the wake of government advice earlier in the year to stay away from close contact with birds.
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